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Friday, 18 November 2016

CROSSROADS: WHEN HE BECAME SHE


He was the heir to the throne and ultimately became the successor on his father's name... 

The mother was nourishing in her womb an ascertain baby who could be a boy or a girl. However, the loving parents already prepared seemly analogous names for their baby. It was an excitable task despite the fact they didn't have any single indication of the baby's sex yet. 

Back in the days, the diagnostic invention of ultrasound which predicts the sex of an unborn baby wasn’t well known and available yet for one main reason. The fetal anatomy prediction of a baby was mesmerising but it wasn’t' reasonably affordable for working class couples. Only the rich couples could afford to pay the highway rubbery fees charged by the ivory tower sonographers. However, the grindstone eeriness of 'not knowing the sex' contributed an immeasurable excitement to those wage-earner couples who were preciously and tirelessly waiting for their unborn angel. 

His parents already decided... 

The unknown sex of their baby was neither a great issue nor a concern as they were more excited to hear the first wail. Like most parents, what they only desired was for the mother to deliver safely a healthy baby and with no complications. An angel they would cradle warmly in their arms and protect as he/she grows-up.

The time had come and the mother delivered a wee version of themselves. The nurse came out and told the father, it's a.... 

The father was mostly  looking forward to spoiling the baby. Oh no, I have already given you a cloudless inkling about the baby's sex, which was delivered safely and naturally by his feisty mother into this world. Yes, she was feisty with very firm ideas about nurturing a child. He also inherited the robust yet soft personality of hers. On the other hand, the light-heartedness and flexibility of his father was also enrooted in him. Whilst the boy was growing up, the generosity of his father spoilt him. Particularly, when his wishes and requests were granted which made him love the father more as a boy. Useful stuff and handy ideas were also taught to him and a more self-reliant boy was moulded. Consequently, the father certainly maturated the analytic and critique sides in him. 

Years passed by and the boy's sexuality was getting clearer and evident. His parents made no big fuss about it but instead, they were in full support while the boy was developing. At the end, they shaped the best person in him and who he would become in the future. 

Unavoidably, the father inoffensively tried to make their son a boy/man and he didn’t fail! Yes, the father accomplished having a son but not because he turned him as a boy/man. The boy remained who he was and even still loved playing his little guy toys. Besides, he was also gradually embracing the life of being a girl with the foothold of his mother. That is why to have his supportive father and caring mother beside him while developing, he grew up well-balanced and overcame most of his frailties in life. Essentially speaking, not all of the times the boy became victoriously balanced as there were times his firmness was tested and overshadowed by others. 

He was challenged but was never overpowered by others... 

He was thought to be robust and flexible when dealing with everyday circumstances in life. Which is why, he became competent when solving issues and also sensitive enough to be in the other's shoes. 

His life as a boy was full of nourishing and delightful memories...His life as a teenager was brimming with teachings and stimulating discoveries... More so, his life as a young professional was impregnated with eye-opening responsibilities and excitements...


Undeniably speaking, the boy who gradually became a girl/woman was very spirited in possessing her father's name. She felt the self-importance of the father's name in which she had used and valued it for 27 years. In the latter years, there were times she didn’t want to hear the sound of her birth name as it structurally contradicted her physical appearance as a woman. Considerately, after she turned 27 and while settling down in the United Kingdom she officially changed her title and name by virtue of Deed Poll. Although, she didn’t fully renounced the father's name and just added a few vowels. 

In the last months of year 2012, she ultimately applied for Deed of change of name and title officiated by Deed Poll. It was the right time for her after she successfully applied for Indefinite Leave to Remain in the United Kingdom. It was a breather for her alas when the Deed Poll Certificate arrived with the changes she's been longing for in life. She whispered to herself and in front of the mirror, I have now papers to prove that I am she and that I a woman! 

For the past years, she has been using the name of how it should be if her loving mother delivered a baby girl. 

The memory of her late supportive father when she was growing-up and transitioning has been a warmth and priceless. That is why, the thought of eliminating fully her father's name in papers didn't make her please and overjoyed. Her father was a great man who taught objective and dynamic lessons in life. In the end, she still renounced legally her birth name and title but didn't erase the priceless representation of the father's name in her.

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