CROSSROADS: WHEN HE BECAME SHE

 by: MisS VictoriA DaviD

He was the heir to the throne and ultimately became the successor on his father's name... 

The mother was nourishing in her womb an ascertain baby who could be a boy or a girl. However, the loving parents already prepared seemly analogous names for their baby. It was an excitable task despite the fact they didn't have any single indication of the baby's sex yet. 

Back in the days, the diagnostic invention of ultrasound which predicts the sex of an unborn baby wasn’t well known and available yet for one main reason. The fetal anatomy prediction of a baby was mesmerising but it wasn’t' reasonably affordable for working class couples. Only the rich couples could afford to pay the highway rubbery fees charged by the ivory tower sonographers. However, the grindstone eeriness of 'not knowing the sex' contributed an immeasurable excitement to those wage-earner couples who were preciously and tirelessly waiting for their unborn angel. 

His parents already decided... 

The unknown sex of their baby was neither a great issue nor a concern as they were more excited to hear the first wail. Like most parents, what they only desired was for the mother to deliver safely a healthy baby and with no complications. An angel they would cradle warmly in their arms and protect as he/she grows-up.

The time had come and the mother delivered a wee version of themselves. The nurse came out and told the father, it's a.... 

The father was mostly  looking forward to spoiling the baby. Oh no, I have already given you a cloudless inkling about the baby's sex, which was delivered safely and naturally by his feisty mother into this world. Yes, she was feisty with very firm ideas about nurturing a child. He also inherited the robust yet soft personality of hers. On the other hand, the light-heartedness and flexibility of his father was also enrooted in him. Whilst the boy was growing up, the generosity of his father spoilt him. Particularly, when his wishes and requests were granted which made him love the father more as a boy. Useful stuff and handy ideas were also taught to him and a more self-reliant boy was moulded. Consequently, the father certainly maturated the analytic and critique sides in him. 

Years passed by and the boy's sexuality was getting clearer and evident. His parents made no big fuss about it but instead, they were in full support while the boy was developing. At the end, they shaped the best person in him and who he would become in the future. 

Unavoidably, the father inoffensively tried to make their son a boy/man and he didn’t fail! Yes, the father accomplished having a son but not because he turned him as a boy/man. The boy remained who he was and even still loved playing his little guy toys. Besides, he was also gradually embracing the life of being a girl with the foothold of his mother. That is why to have his supportive father and caring mother beside him while developing, he grew up well-balanced and overcame most of his frailties in life. Essentially speaking, not all of the times the boy became victoriously balanced as there were times his firmness was tested and overshadowed by others. 

He was challenged but was never overpowered by others... 

He was thought to be robust and flexible when dealing with everyday circumstances in life. Which is why, he became competent when solving issues and also sensitive enough to be in the other's shoes. 

His life as a boy was full of nourishing and delightful memories...His life as a teenager was brimming with teachings and stimulating discoveries... More so, his life as a young professional was impregnated with eye-opening responsibilities and excitements...

Undeniably speaking, the boy who gradually became a girl/woman was very spirited in possessing her father's name. She felt the self-importance of the father's name in which she had used and valued it for 27 years. In the latter years, there were times she didn’t want to hear the sound of her birth name as it structurally contradicted her physical appearance as a woman. Considerately, after she turned 27 and while settling down in the United Kingdom she officially changed her title and name by virtue of Deed Poll. Although, she didn’t fully renounced the father's name and just added a few vowels. 

In the last months of year 2012, she ultimately applied for Deed of change of name and title officiated by Deed Poll. It was the right time for her after she successfully applied for Indefinite Leave to Remain in the United Kingdom. It was a breather for her alas when the Deed Poll Certificate arrived with the changes she's been longing for in life. She whispered to herself and in front of the mirror, I have now papers to prove that I am she and that I a woman! 

For the past years, she has been using the name of how it should be if her loving mother delivered a baby girl. 

The memory of her late supportive father when she was growing-up and transitioning has been a warmth and priceless. That is why, the thought of eliminating fully her father's name in papers didn't make her please and overjoyed. Her father was a great man who taught objective and dynamic lessons in life. In the end, she still renounced legally her birth name and title but didn't erase the priceless representation of the father's name in her.

MY EXPERIENCED OF THE GENDER IDENTITY CLINIC IN THE UNITED KINGDOM

 by: MisS VictoriA DaviD

Life's challenges unfolded and unknown paths emerged on my way to becoming me...

It was nearly ten years ago to date when I first came over to the United Kingdom; to live and explore a new chapter in my life. I had no extended family to rely upon, like most of us Filipinos, but I was full of excitement and had a positive outlook. On the other hand, I was naïve and innocent up to the point of being ignorant, too. Yes, I was! However, it didn’t mean I was careless and dull not to understand the real meaning of being away from my parents and living outside of my nest. 

Before I came over, I have been feeding myself with its history that helped me to understand more clearly what United Kingdom was all about. I even read about the publicly funded health care system which was founded in 1948 and referred to as the National Health Service (NHS). I have to admit that it was such an embarrassment to have assumed that England was United Kingdom and its historically famous London Bridge was falling apart, based on the nursery rhyme we used to sing in kindergarten. 

I didn't have family nor friends to assist me while living a new chapter of my life in the United Kingdom...

When I begun integrating in order to know more about my new environment, I started from scratch. I didn’t like asking for help from other people but someone told me about registering at a nearest surgery, if I may be needing medical advice from a General Physician (G.P.). I set it aside and didn't give much consideration about the surgery for almost a year. Its because I have this idea, like when I was in the Philippines, that if ever I will be needing to see a doctor I will just find one nearby and pay at my own cost. Yes, typical of me! When I was running out of my oestrogen pills and panicking, that was the time I thought of the surgery and a General Physician (G.P.). 

I visited a pharmacy and thought I could just acquire my hormones upfront. Sadly, I was told that without a written prescription from my G.P., they couldn't give it to me. Instead of getting irritated and sulking, I looked on the internet and found out how to register with a surgery as a new settler here in the United Kingdom and what contact number to ring, too. Luckily, I was accepted at the first surgery I applied and became their patient with black & white written formalities. They even immediately booked an appointment for me to see a General Physician. I agreed about the day and time of meeting a G.P. for the very first time and also, to end my misery about oestrogen pills. 

When I first registered with my surgery I still had my birth name but I was already smoothly transitioning. The first time I met my very approachable and considerate General Physician, she was slightly surprised. Her eyes didn’t lie! I didn’t mind her reaction and it vanquished when I chatted to her and we started knowing each other. She asked essential information about me which was very understandable given I wasn't born here and have no medical records on their system. She was even curios with my strong American accent and how I learnt to speak well. We conversed and when the time came to ask for oestrogen pills' prescription, she declined to hand it over to me. She declined with an explanation and even raised the possibility of a private prescription. I was tempted to pay for the private prescription but when she explained about the Gender Identity Clinic referral, my mindset changed. Hence, I responded to her imperatively that I couldn’t wait for it!

She forwarded my referral with a name change and a week after, I received a letter from the Gender Identity Clinic. That was quite fast and even my appointment with the clinic was booked early, too. Thank you! 

On the day of my first appointment at the Gender Identity Clinic, I felt eerie while waiting in their lounge. A few of their patients were staring at me and I could see through their eyes, the sufferings and pain. That was when I put one and one together, the clinic was mainly treating people with psychiatric disorder. I gulped and just looked straight up to the ceiling while waiting for my name to be called. 

My name was called and a community nurse welcomed me with a smile on her face... 

The community nurse was easy going and soft spoken while asking personal questions regarding my transition to becoming me, a woman. It went pleasantly and she also learnt new information (from me) regarding the transsexual men and women in the Philippines. She forgot the time because of our frolic but before we ended our conversation, she asked me politely if it was ok for me to be forwarded to another expert. I just said yes with an interrupted explanation from her. She said and I quote, 'It was just for formality purposes and to be assessed by another expert means, I couldn’t be accused of being biased with my remarks about you and your transition'. 

Another letter arrived and an appointment with the same clinic was arranged for me to see a psychologist... 

I was there once again but with no more spooky feelings. The community nurse I talked to last time escorted and introduced me to an intern female psychologist. I was very surprised as I thought a tough psychologist would handle me and be very critical about my transition and sexuality. I was utterly disappointed, just a joke! 

My one on one dialogue with the intern psychologist went smoothly and she even complimented me on how comfortable I was when asked delicate questions. She was very glad and delighted at my well-balanced understanding of being a man and as a woman. That is why, we had a good laugh and even talked about a patient who slapped her for no reasons whatsoever. We finished our healthy conversation with a statement from her and I quote, 'You can't choose who you will be serving in this profession and that slap was part of the package'. 

I know the words per see in the name, Gender Identity Clinic. However, I have no knowledge that this type of clinic existed until I first met and conversed with my General Physician. When I started my transition back in the Philippines, I didn’t have to see a General Physician in order to acquire for my oestrogen pills. I would just go straight to the pharmacy and buy it from them with no limits, for as long as you can afford the total price. That is why, to be assessed by experts from the Gender Identity Clinic was new to me but it gave me so much understanding why. Wish we have Gender Identity Clinics in the Philippines who would not just assess women and men like us but will also deeply understand our biological sex and gender identity. Actually, the Gender Identity Clinics here in the United Kingdom don't just assess biological sex and gender identity issues. They also offer support groups who will treat you with respect, guidance and love. 

My surgery gave me a call and an appointment to see my dearest General Physician was booked on my behalf... 

It was, more or less, a period of 2 months of assessments before I finally got to see my General Physician again. We chatted for awhile regarding my experience with the Gender Identity Clinic as she was very happy with the remarks from the experts. She then monitored manually my blood pressure while explaining another test I will do once in a year called, lipid blood tests. After that, she handed over to me my monthly supplies of oestrogen pills' prescription.

*Photo Courtesy of gendergp.co.uk

THE LGBTQIA (LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENDER, QUEER/ QUESTIONING, INTERSEX AND ASEXUAL) STORY

 by: MisS VictoriA DaviD

Sometime before 1967, being a homosexual in the United Kingdom was considered a crime that could lead to a sentence of indefinite “preventive detention”. Homosexuals were considered to be dangerous sexual offenders- if found or assessed thoroughly by the court to have engaged in private and consensual sex (with men).

Courtesy of www.advocate.com

Gays, in those years, were hiding their true identities in order to avoid criminal convictions and also suspicion from their families. Though it wasn’t the ideal solution, most gays chose to marry in order to conform to what society thought was 'right and appropriate' behaviour. They naturally also wanted to avoid people’s inhumane judgements. But this didn't resolve nor change who really they were underneath. They may be handsome husbands or robust looking fathers, but deeply within they were gays.

We know for a fact that tying the knot with another, care and respect, can be the path to happiness. But to marry without love and affection only for security purposes is a huge and terrible mistake. There were many married gays who have ended-up having a vex life though they had adorable kids and a loving family. Tragically speaking, for those who couldn't handle the miseries they felt inside, they committed the heavyhearted way of ending their existence, suicide. Sad but true!

Courtesy of www.advocate.com

I was told by a close friend that intellectual and educated gays in the U.K. started a clandestine organisation which aimed at broadcasting who they were and spoke about their inner feelings as humans. One of their very powerful tools that helped in spreading and strengthening out their opinions and factual evidences about gays was to publish a newspaper that was given to the public for free. And because of that, the public as well as their families gradually understood and accepted the existence of homosexuality. Not just in the United Kingdom but also around the world.

Nowadays, gay people are having a much more relax and calm life than before. But we still cannot deny the fact that discrimination does still exist. Whether we like it or not, the most affected ones are the meek looking homosexuals or those who cannot defend themselves from the hands of narrow minded people.

As they say, we cannot expect everybody to welcome third sex people into the community. But we have to look at the greater picture which is; it is no longer a crime for them to express their true identities in public. And as result, more and more gays are stepping-out of their closets with pride and confidence, even at a very young age, because of their family's love and support.